Etiquette for attending business events isn’t really too much different than polite protocol for attending a social function. The more I host events, the more I’m amazed at what should be common sense is far less common. Therefore, should you be new or old to local networking, let’s just review some of the basic common courtesies that will help make you remembered for your profession vs. being remembered for business boundary blunders. Your goal is to create a positive and lasting first impression.
1. Although this should be a no brainer, arrive on time or 5 minutes early. Should you know in advance that your schedule will force you to be arriving with bells on or late, simply let whomever invited you know in advance. In the day and age of GPS in our phones for free, gone are the days when “I got lost” was a reasonable excuse for tardiness. Take 5 minutes, make a map the day before, so you know where you’re going. Use the satellite street views to see exactly what the building looks like, so you know what the place looks like and have visual landmarks already in your mind for your drive. Your goal is to be your brand.
2. Be clear on who the VIPs is/are. The two most important people in any room are the person who invited you and the host or hostess who does all the work to put the event together. These folks are the gatekeepers to the event or forum. Do not dismiss or overlook these people. Good leaders want their members to exchange referrals and develop profit sharing partnership projects. These people can help you connect better with the membership and hold the control over whether or not you are invited back. Greet them upon arrival and extend salutations upon departing. And remember, when you’ve been invited by another member, you are not in the room alone. You actually have some responsibility to make the person who invited you look good in front of his/her business colleagues. Just be cooperative, friendly and polite. Focus on others in the room, which protect your “face” and the person who invited you.
3. Be on your best behavior. Upon arrival, focus on listening and observing. Get a sense of how the group operates. Does it have an agenda? Is there an event fee? How much are membership dues? Does the group operate with discipline or fast and loose? Listen to not only how members talk to one another. Do people talk in a frank or PC manner? When you’re asked to engage verbally, keep your responses brief, concise. Visitors often make the mistake in talking beyond the appropriate time length because they have the floor. How does the group pass business cards? Do they have a box, tray or simply the pass the stack method? If you’re not sure, ask the person who invited you. Your goal is creating affinity and fitting in, not jumping ahead of standardized operating protocols…You want to be remembered for showing respect to the party holders, the meeting protocols, the event space, the members and general event experience. You are there to decide whether continuing to attend would be beneficial to your business or professional education, but the group is deciding whether or not they want you to join.
4. Be brief. Your soul goal in attending an event is to connect with others and be invited back or to other connection avenues. You want to be visible, friendly and intriguing to entreat invites to future events, phone calls, 1:1 meetings, strategic partnerships on projects, etc. That’s it! You’re NOT there to direct sell in an event. Try to know what members are in the room before you attend. Do not offer services another paid member already sells in the group. Only promote the service you provide that IS NOT already represented. You don’t want to create competition with a seasoned member. You want to create a unique nitch for yourself, so have the self-discipline to avoid stepping on other members business areas. It’s customary for small groups to spend a few minutes per person reminding folks in the room about their business. Take notes. Have your 30 or 60 second introduction memorized. Be prepared that your introduction only answers three questions in your introduction–what is your name? what do you do? and how you do help people? Then be ready to adapt your introduction to accommodate whatever unique element the group is discussing that day. It’s okay to mention your efficiency in your elevator speech, but don’t talk about discounts or pricing.
5. Be a giver. Often times business owners attend networking events focused on what they will take away from the event–business PR, education, new connections & potentially sales. While this can happen naturally, it should not be your sole focus. Your focus needs to be on objectively evaluating the group, the membership and being positively remembered by the host and members. Did you feel the discussion time invested valuable? Did you learn something? Look for how you can help the other members. Think ahead, once you know folks better, do you feel you could refer members to potential clients? The underlying goals of networking is referrals. Your goal is LISTENING to others and understanding their needs. The group was not created about you and what YOU sell, but be prepared to briefly answer questions when curiosity is peaked. Your goal is to set up appointments outside the event. “I’d love to talk with you about that over coffee or the phone; what’s your schedule like the next two weeks?” Sometimes people attend events with a flexible time schedule afterwards, but most business owners cannot drop their schedule to see you the same day or next day. Know in advance your availability and be prepared to offer two days for setting appointments with people who take interest in you.
6. Be professional. Keep your conversation to business topics. Friendships develop over time at events and personal information is not usually wanted or needed at a first event. During the standard self-introduction time, make notes about people speaking. Write down the person’s first name, profession and one intriguing question you might be ask them later about their work. When participating in a brainstorming session, remember you have only just met these people. As a guest, you’re qualified to give a fresh opinion, but you’re not given permission to evaluate folks in the room. Soften all advice with, “not sure whether or not you’ve considered this, but what do you think of…” OR “have you considered…?” Your goal is to be someone people enjoy talking with, not come across as a conversation dominating, insufferable know it all. You want to have an opinion positively remembered.
7. Be guarded. No one in the room has given you the visitor permission to wax on about your business or brag about your professional connections or your ability to buy their services. Keep the information about your business brief, offer a little creative mystery and gain intrigue from strangers. Always keep time in mind that the most valuable thing anyone else can give you is time. And several thousands of dollars of time may be invest in the room at that moment of people who have committed in time and money to be members. Focus YOUR conversation on helping others you meet, not showing off your knowledge. Always preface any unsolicited advice with “may I offer you a suggestion”, then after receiving permission, keep your comment quick. If the person wants more they will ask you for more of your ideas and opinion. Only make comments on the target objectives communicated by discussion topic or the member to whom you are speaking. Additionally, while everyone wants REAL referrals, you have to earn the right to give them and be trusted for them. So don’t offer any unless you can guarantee they are legitimate.
A final note, when you’re a guest, never privately or publicly suggest colleagues who are in a competing business with any member in the room. This is one of the most common mistakes guests make at events. They do this in attempt so show themselves as knowledgeable or resourceful or out of a desire to connect like minded people, but usually this offering just shoots themselves in the foot. It would be logical to predict that this “sharing” annoys or offends the person in the same line of work. After all the sole purpose of 3D networking is to make deeper connections with those present. Such reactive strategy may also offend faithful fellow members who will wonder how inattentive you are to details of the introductions for not listening or taking 10 seconds to read the biz cards being passed around. This is why its YOUR job to know who is represented in the room.
A trick gained from Japanese meetings is to lay everyone’s business cards on the table in the order they are seated, so you can call people correctly by name and stay clear about their professions. It’s YOUR BRAND on the line, if failure to hear clearly causes you to have to publicly ask someone what they do, after they’ve already introduced themselves. Your goal is to act and appear attentive, genuinely concerned about connecting professionals in the room with ideas, support or business opportunity. Regardless of whether you choose to return, leave everyone with a positive impression of YOU and YOUR business BRAND.
Have thoughts on this topic? Please share them with me!
